Invent your own fish

Recent news has revealed the discovery of a new fish species — arapaima leptosoma — which is native to the Amazon in Brazil.

The fish is the first entirely new species of the huge arapaima family discovered since 1847, for which only a single species was believed to have existed for the last 166 years.

Arapaimas can grow up to 3 metres long and weigh as much as 200 kilos, so the new species didn’t exactly slip through the net. It only highlights the focus and dedication required to raise fish conservation efforts. The new discovery prompted us to wonder what else is out there in the big blue. Here’s some unlikely efforts we dreamed up (feel free to contribute your own ideas).

Hoover fish (humus nimia satietas)

Plastic underwater

A fish that cleans the ocean? Yes please!
Source: Electrolux

Two of the biggest threats to sea life are overfishing and pollution, so imagine a huge bottom feeder that digested massive amounts of rubbish and pollution clogging up our seas and rivers.

Nearly as big as a blue whale, the hoover fish would provide much needed assistance to a dirty problem.

Golden-gilled ghost carp  (M. Spiritu carpere)

Gold nugget

Fame and riches for whoever hooks this carp
Source: UnJournalism

Very much the fish of choice for many anglers, carps can be challenging to hook and are highly prized. But we all need a holy grail in our lives and there needs to be something out there that provides a fearsome challenge for our carp fishing rod.

Say hello to the golden-gilled carp — a 60kilo carp species incredibly hard to find and a fish that provides huge fame for the fisherman that hooks it.

Mouse marlin (mus marlin)

marlin

The problem with marlin? Too elusive.
Source: Paradise Outfitters

Fast, strong and elusive, select species of marlin are considered to provide the pinnacle of offshore sport fishing. Big blue marlins put up one hell of a fight and have inspired many sport fishermen, but like lots of other species, black and blue marlins are in decline.

Threatened primarily by commercial fishing, it’d be brilliant if there were a breed of marlin renowned for its exceptionally fast breeding (and growing) rates. So fast that is has been nicknamed the mouse marlin.

Sea chicken (quis maris)

chicken

A few gills here, a fin there, we can see it!
Source: Wikimedia

Humanity’s appetite for tuna is incredible and it’s mainstream appeal along with its meaty texture has resulted in it being nicknamed the chicken of the sea. Yet it’s a matter of time before demand outgrows supply, which is likely to result in tuna being an unaffordable luxury for poorer families.

If only there was an alternative like the tasty and abundant sea chicken (a fish incredibly similar to a chicken, but still a fish).

Pearl Catcher (margaritam aucupe)

pearls

A fish with a bonus
Source: AAA Pearls

Not to be mistaken for the commensal pearl fish, which is known to live inside clams and starfish, the pearl catcher is a speedy little fish renowned for its snatch and run routine on the mollusc community.

Unable to properly digest the pearls it steals, the pearl catcher keeps its booty in its stomach until it is caught by a lucky fisherman. Now there’s a nice thought.