If somebody told you that Fuzzy Nymphs, Super Minkies and Woolly Buggers lived amongst Treebeard, Gandalf and Frodo Baggins in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, you would probably believe them.
Unless, that is, you were partial to a bit of fly fishing. Outside of fiction you won’t find such a weird assortment of names anywhere like those used for fishing lures.
This illuminating list of fishy fables casts light on the origins of some freaky fishing fly names:
Anorexic Hares Ear Nymph
Legend has it that if you find a shrivelled, gaunt ear of a hare under your pillow then you would have only 66 days before you had either the finest fortune a person could wish for, or the most gruesome death you could imagine. Whether it be fortune or fatality depended on what hand you picked up the ear with.
Cruncher Ginger Nymph
You know it’s coming when you see the plaster on your walls start to crumble … as it stomps closer the window frames shake with fear and the very foundations of your home move with it’s every step … and then, a flash of red and … CRUNCH. Game Over.
Like skinny bees, these strange insects suck up water and gurgle it at such a frequency that the vibrations would paralyze anybody within 100 metres. They would then choose a paralysed victim and wriggle into their earholes, buzzing, buzzing, buzzing until their poor victim’s brain exploded.
If you so happen to be in the jungle, Jungle Muddlers will do their best to confuse you by replicating the same trees, vines and foliage that you passed ten minutes ago. So after two days of walking around in circles you’ll collapse exhausted and the Jungle Muddlers will get you.
Such was the fear that this giant once spread that it’s name has found it’s way into modern language, YET(!) once upon a time the name would tremble the very shape of your soul. Humungus was so big that you couldn’t see him and if that wasn’t enough to fry your brain, Humungus would crush you like a flea and then ask questions.
Elk Hair Caddis Tan Fly
They are found around fresh water lakes in the north of Russia. They look like giant hairy flies with big eyes. They are attracted to the smell of human sweat and when they lock onto an innocent passer-by they quickly multiply surrounding their target whilst releasing a hazy brown chemical which sends the whites of their victims eyes brown, softening them ready for feasting on. Arrrrrghhhhh!
It’s probably best to leave this one alone …