Traditionally, fishing takes you back to hunter-gatherer basics and helps you re-connect with nature.
However these days many fishermen have opened the doors, err flaps of their bivvies, just a bit and welcomed inside the benefits of technology.
See, technology has to be pretty special to be accepted by the nature-appreciating fishermen, though the following fishing tackle fantasies should pass the test.
Beer pump jacket
To the untrained eye it looks like a cosy, waterproof fishing jacket more than capable of keeping its wearer snug in all weathers. Inside it is lined with a layer of beer, which is conveniently transported via a flexible tube and a pump to the nearest dry throat. Beer can be substituted with cherry pop for those too young to consume alcohol.
Tackle box grill
After all the hard work drinking it’s only right to get involved with some nosh — hmm, if only you had a barbecue … Well actually there’s no need for a barbecue when you have a tackle box grill. When stomachs are full, it’s a tackle box, but when they’re empty, the metal lid of the tackle box transforms into a grill and there’s even a gas supply inside. Amazing — it just needs a green light from Health & Safety.
Radio fishing hat
Well-fed and lubricated, the sounds of birds and insects singing and buzzing — actually flies can be annoying. Good job you brought that fishing hat then. Not only does it keep the sun and rain off your head, but stores a handy digital receiver under the rim complete with two small (waterproof) speakers. Tune-age!
Automatic fishing rod
Casting off is one of the fun parts of fishing, but even so some fishermen out there will appreciate a rod that has the power to cast the hook further than Fatima Whitbread’s javelin.
Kamikaze fishing bait
Bait can prove tricky to get onto the hook at the best of times, so it’s going to be even harder if you’re wearing your beer pump jacket. But, imagine if it attached itself to the hook and saved you all the fumbling work. Maybe the hooks could contain an aroma so irresistible to maggots that they pierced themselves on the hook. Hmm …
Erecting a bivvy in gale force winds with cold fingers can prove extremely difficult, and so can dissembling it when you’re tired or lazy. Maybe the self-assembling bivvy is the answer? It could pop out its bag like a jack-in-the-box and be instantly ready – with all your fishing gear inside ready to go. Getting it back just as quickly may need some more work.