We understand when you’ve got to go fishing, you’ve simply got to go. And with Father’s Day coming up, it’s the perfect excuse to treat yourself to a day’s fishing.
Unfortunately, not everybody else gets it. For many of us, other people – our bosses, partners, family and friends – often throw barriers in our way. When that happens, you need a list of good excuses ready at your fingertips.
Here are ten to get you started, but we bet you’ll be able to think of more!
1. “I’m teaching the kids how to fish”
If you teach your children to fish, you will have the perfect excuse to go fishing whenever you want to. Who could possibly object to a father spending quality time with his kids? In fact, if you play this one right, you should earn brownie points while you’re at it.
Blogger Peter Moore tried a spot of Father’s Day coarse fishing with his daughter. It didn’t exactly go to plan (read: they didn’t catch any fish), but they did have a lot of fun organising maggot races!
2. “I’ve got to check my waders are fixed”
Sew/stick a patch on an old pair of waders, preferably making as much fuss about the whole process as possible. Then declare the need to check the effectiveness of your efforts, and head down to the water to do it. You will of course have to keep the waders submerged for a long time in order to give the repair a thorough testing.
3. “It’s stipulated in my fishing licence”
Few people who don’t fish will have bothered to acquaint themselves with the terms of the average fishing licence. Who could possibly know it isn’t a term of your licence that you have to put in a certain numbers of hours every month, or risk a severe penalty? Use this one wisely, as it wouldn’t be too hard for a suspicious mind to check it out.
4. “I’m catching our dinner!”
Invite friends over for a BBQ and offer to cook them fish caught with your own fair rod. There’s no need to explain the likelihood of actually achieving this – that’s what the visit to the fishmonger on the way home is for. The main point is, you must spend a great deal of time trying.
Of course the downside is you will actually have to cook something. Fear not! Check out Fish on Friday’s guide to BBQ Seafood; it covers everything, from picking the right fish to stopping it stick to the grill (pro tip: wrap in bacon or banana leaves).
If you fancy something a bit more, er, primal, check out this guide from Dryad Bushcraft for cooking a fish on a stick. Whilst not for the squeamish, they describe it as “one of the simplest and most pleasant ways of cooking in the outdoors.”
5. “I’m helping out a friend”
Have a friend knock on the door, begging you to go with him because his other mate has pulled out, because that mate’s missus (by inference, the mean one) ‘won’t let him out of the house’. As soon as you get the green light, grab your gear and go – you won’t want your mate hanging around too long and getting tripped up by a lie.
6. “It’s fishing or the drums”
You don’t have to be any good at drumming. In fact, the worse you are, the more effective the ruse. Wait until the fish are jumping, then pick up your drumsticks, plaster a determined look on your face and sit down to practice. The family will soon be begging you to go fishing.
7. “I’m testing out my thoughtful Father’s Day gift”
Let’s face it, kids never know what to buy their parents for birthdays, Christmases or Father’s Day, so why not help them out? Hint at wanting some fishing gear, then insist that it would be rude not to use your lovely present as soon as possible.
Or you could point them towards the TAFF campaign (Take A Friend Free), and you might get to take your mate along with you too. Perfect. The campaign states:
“It’s easy to participate in TAFF: cut out or print off the rod licence voucher, fill in your contact details, validate it online, read the Terms and Conditions, grab your fishing tackle and the voucher and go fishing with your Dad or a friend!”
You can read more about how to get involved with TAFF for Father’s Day on their website.
8. “The dog needs a walk”
Firstly, you’ll need a dog. If you do this, it’s important that the dog is a bit of a pest – lots of energy and plenty of noise when trapped indoors for too long. Then offer to take the dog out fishing with you, to give it some fresh air. Not only are you free to go, you are something of a hero too.
9. “The dog needs a bath”
Offering to take the dog to the nearest lake or river for a much needed dip is a great excuse to be gone for a good while. At almost any given time, our average canine friend could do with a good rinse and general de-ponging, so this one offers year round possibilities.
If your family pet happens to be a pampered pooch with shampooed locks and manicured claws, then hunt out the nearest mud pool and chuck their ball in it for them. Obviously, this one only works if you have paid attention to excuse #8.
10. If all else fails… “It’s Father’s Day!”
This is one day of the year when you shouldn’t need an excuse. Just go.